For my Blog #2 I decided to interview my very spiritual great aunt.  Brenda was born September 5, 1947.  Brenda decided to talk about a few childhood memories and a few from her early adult years compared to times today.  Brenda was born and raised in Osseo, WI, and there house was right in between her parents corner store and bar.  Her dad ran the bar, and her mother ran the corner store.  Growing up there are many differences noted from todays era and technology. 

At five years old, Brenda would play in the store, outside the store, and bounce over to the bar.  There was no concern with her being at either place running free.  Brenda states the best part of having the store was getting suckers whenever she wanted.  Brenda doesn't remember what they were called but they were like a huge sweet tart or comparable to the smarties candies.  Brenda states the bar always had older men in it.  Brenda states that it was full of "grandpas" as she thought back to those days.  They would by her peanuts and pickles eggs.  School was a block away where she would walk with no problems.  No stories about walking through the snow.  School was basic and point blank.  Now days kids have so many electronics that it is completely different.  Brenda expresses how she wouldn't want to be in school now days.  She feels a lot of the learning of fundamentals have vanished and shocked they may stop teaching cursive writing in the schools.  Not being able to say the pledge of allegiance due to cultural diversity strikes a cord.  Religion was a huge part of school back then and the whole town was involved.  Brenda states every family had a church and usually attended most sundays.  Brenda stated how surprised she is that many couples get married by strangers due to not having a pastor of their own.  That marriage, religion, and family values are not taken as seriously today than few decades ago. 

Some things have improved according to Brenda. Cell phones and email are highly used and prevent a lot of heartache and waiting.  Some phones have gotten out of control for her, a small flip phone is great.  Smoking used to be everywhere back in the day. Brenda said flights were horrible, even riding the bus.  People smoked in physicians office, the mall, and while grocery shopping.  Brenda feels today's society has improved on health related topics.  Banning smoking, exercising more, eating healthy, and the importance of all of them with drinking a lot of water.  On the other had, Brenda is para at the school and notices more obesity.  Back when she was a child you ate meat, potatoes, fruits and vegetables.  There was no going to McDonald's or anything of the sort.  Hearing people blame school lunches on obesity upsets her.  Brenda feels parents are too busy now days to monitor what their children are putting in their bodies including Mt. Dew. 

Brenda states so much has changed, some for the good, some for the not so good.  Brenda states that it was so much easier to live back then than now.  The cost of living was lower, the value of a dollar was higher, and everyone was more creative with their spare time.  Not that today is horrible to live in but it is a lot different, higher paced, and high maintenance.  

Sharing with a Sister from another Mister

My mother only had four girls: Precious, Ammed, my twin sister Jehbeh, and me. In 1986, my mother moved from Liberia to Sacramento, California in hopes of finding a better life for herself as well as he family. She managed to get Ammed to the United States and soon after my dad followed. Due to legal issues as well  as other prohibitions, Precious was unable to be a part of the family until 2001. Because of her absence, Ammed, Jehbeh, and I grew up together. I didn't even know I had another sister until shortly before her arrival. I always wanted to know about the sister I never grew up with, the woman I never knew. My sister Precious is the woman I chose to interview. In doing so, I was hoping to form not only know more about her but to also better our relationship.

The interview took place over ice cold lemonade and snacks on her patio deck in the backyard of her home. Despite her three sons making constant sound effects and laughing at the top of their lungs, we managed to discuss a lot of things. One of the things we discussed was her childhood. After my mom left, Precious was sent to live with relatives, her relatives. You see, Precious has a different father than me, Jehbeh, and Ammed. I was completely unaware of this until many years after she arrived to the United States. When in Liberia, she mostly lived with her aunts and uncles but soon was sent to live with our grandmother on our mother's side to care for her when she became ill. After the passing of our grandmother, she was then taken back to live with her father's side of the family. She grew up in a well sustainable environment with enough food and school fees paid for. Precious mentioned how privileged the other sisters and I were to live in America and not have to pay tuition for school or other associated fees. The only thing they had to worry about was the roofing during raining season which is summer time here in Minnesota. If patches weren't fixed or the roof wasn't fully enact, water could get into the house thus causing damage. With her slight accent she said, "Ha, that roof is no joke!" Her adolescent years took place late 1970's and '80's when there a lot of war going on. She explained how women and young girls were taken off to secluded places, raped, then beaten before being told to go home. The government was corrupted with rebels ruling the streets, making it unsafe for families. Eventually she made it through and finished her schooling at LTI-Lutheran Training Institute in Monrovia, Liberia. Soon after accomplishing some college credits, Precious made her way to America in order to continue her education and become a successful woman. Little did she know that money didn't just grow on trees like she though it would..

In time, Precious managed to get an apartment, enroll in class at MCTC in Minneapolis, and began a job at Wal-Mart. "Let me tell you, working at that job was not easy but I did what I had to do," she explained in reference to her first opportunity of employment. In hopes of pursuing her nursing degree, she then found a job working as a PCA. It wasn't her ideal job but it was "something to pay the bills." There she struggled with power. Precious explained to me that she felt quite inferior to her bosses and even co-workers due to being female with a cultural difference. In reference to the Racism in America video, there were many stereotypes that were related to black people. Similar to this, people who can directly relate to a country of origin experience more stereotyping. She shared with me that people rudely asked her why she talked a certain way, why her skin tone was so dark, and treated as if she was beneath all others. Precious said she felt powerless and unworthy. She left shortly after she began to escape the ridicule.

Precious met her first two sons' father but he left for Kenya immediately after their second child was born. Alone, she struggled to work to provide for her family and put herself through school. Throughout those years she encouraged me and twin sister to make sure we finished school and waited to get married and have children. According to the article by Goldman, marriage and love don't necessarily have to be linked together. Goldman considers marriage to be an institution designed to imprison women and continue the oppression that exists, which is similar to how my sister felt. She continued to advise us to find a good person before settling down. She is now married to her husband that shares the responsibility of working to pay the household expenses as well as take care of the household chores.

Today, Precious is a proud and hard-working mother of three boys. She has fought hard to achieve a bachelor's degree in nursing and is currently working as a case manager for a large hospital. She's satisfied with her life. In all, my sister Precious is the woman I chose to interview. In doing so, I was hoping to form not only know more about her but to also better our relationship, and I did.

Gender Social Construction: Through the Eyes of an Older Generation

    For this interview and blog session I interviewed my mother. There is a lot we never talk about and for this assignment I was curious to see the picture that would be painted of her childhood as well as her future. I wanted to see just how much of her past and present was shaped by our social construction of gender and gender roles.

    For starters, I’ll begin with childhood. My mother, Sally, had a dad that encouraged her to play sports, even though it wasn’t entirely common for girls to play sports at that time. I somehow wondered if this had to do with parenting technique or if also had to do with the fact she had several brothers. Either way, although Sally loved dancing and cheerleading she also spoke about her time playing touch football and some times even baseball. A surprising fact I learned from this was that when she was in school, girls weren’t allowed to play hockey. This took me by surprise as it is my own favorite sport. And football wasn’t tackle football just tag football. Perhaps this an example of what Wollstenecraft talks about in the Vindication of the Rights of Women (1988). Women were seen as weak and often these things were believed to be pointless because women were just supposed to get married and have a family.

This brings me to the next topic that was discussed with my mom which was marriage.  Sally said that while growing up all but one of her friends had dreamed of getting married. She even went so far as to state that most of her friends went to college not to pursue a career, but rather pursue a husband and a future family. I think the fact that girls dreams relied solely on marriage says a lot about our society at that time.

Sally’s parent’s told her that she could be anything she wanted to be and she dreamed of never getting married, but rather of having a career. This is perhaps what Friedan talks about in the Feminine Mystique, where women were expected to shape their lives and dreams and roles around their family, often to the point of becoming depressed and feeling hopeless when their life consisted of nothing else (1963).

The more I listened to my mother’s story the more I could see how gender is socially constructed, just as Lober states (1994). Because it is so intricately woven into our every day lives we often times don’t stop to think about how society is shaping our view, our values and our lives on the simple basis of gender. At the time of my mother’s generation (she is now 55 years old), women’s roles were very rigid and submissive to men.

In one job Sally had worked at, she wore a pant suit to work and was immediately told by her boss to never show up in pants again. This was at a bank. I cannot imagine being expected to wear a dress or skirt every day as I save those in my closet for only special occassions. This is just another example of Lorber’s social constrution of gender. My mother was forbidden to wear pants to work because women were expected to dress nicely and look pretty, even if this means that she would be uncomfortable. Needless to say, she only worked there for a short amount of time before moving on to a different job with less rigid gender roles.

    As discussed in Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique, and what Sally was talking about in regards to women’s roles, I can’t help but wonder if birth control was forbidden out of another attempt to keep women submissive and trapped. The more children women had to take care of, the less time they would have to pursue other goals and ambitions. My Fight for Birth Control written by Margaret Sanger was very eye opening in regards to this issue (1931). Because of the extreme situation Sangar’s patient would be left in as a mother with the birth of yet another child, she had tried not once but twice to abort her own baby and ended up killing herself in the process. No one would allow this mother to use contraceptives even though she clearly couldn’t handle having more children. It is no wonder why Sanger began to fight for women’s reproductive rights from there on out.

    As Sally finishes the interview she describes what she would like to see happen in her future talking about plans to retire in a warm state, while maybe working part time to stay occupied (she loves her job), as well as spending the rest of her free time with family and friends. Although this future involves family it is free from a lot of the constraints of gender roles and the choice is hers to make which wouldn’t have been the case when she was born. I am hoping this trend will continue and one day gender roles will be nonexistent with the freedom to do or be whatever one pleases without feeling oppressed.

 

Reference List

Friedan, Betty. “The Feminine Mystique” (1963). in Peter B. Levy, ed., 100 Key

Documents in American Democracy (1994). Westport, CT: Greenwood.

Sanger, Margaret. Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions: My Fight for Birth Control (1931).

McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. New York: NY.

Wallstonecraft, Mary.  A Vindication of the Rights of Woman: An Authoritative Text,

Backgrounds, The Wollstonecraft Debate, Criticism (1988). New York: W. W. Norton.

Interview with someone from a different generation

For my blog number two assignment I decided to interview my mother Mary. She was born June 19, 1959. She had three siblings and she was the second to youngest. I sat down with her for a while to discuss what her childhood was like and how it was different from mine and my other siblings. Right off the bat she says that technology is the biggest difference from her time to ours. She never had cell phones, ipods, or other electronics and they used to spend majority of their time playing outside. They had one tv, it was a color tv and nobody had tvs in their rooms which I believe is much more common now a days. Her favorite things to do outside was play with her cats and other animals. It was very quiet and peaceful. Nobody complained about much they just learned that everything happened for a reason and never really asked questions. They never had a new car and the car they had, had no power steering and was black and had no seat belts. They spent a lot of time on the farm and really appreciated and enjoyed the outdoors more than I think I did growing up. Another big thing was that the tv didn't play all night and didn't have many channels no more than 6 channels. It stopped at like ten at night and would resume in the morning. When I talked to her about this it was mind-blowing because now there is thousands of channels and endless things to watch. I think tvs plays a much bigger part in peoples lives today because its just something entertaining that requires little effort and there are so many things to watch. They watched Saturday cartoons but usually didn't watch that much tv.

She said that overall back when she was a teenager people got married younger. She said in high school she had a lot of friends who were married. She said it was very common for young people to have jobs. Her mom was a nursing assistant until she got married then became a house wife. She said it was also very common that once women got married they would just be house wifes and didn't have to work anymore. I asked her if women were typically considered equal and she said yes but they weren't usually viewed as capable as men more in the 50s and 60s. The 70s she said things started to change more and she never felt any restriction for being a woman, she always felt she could do whatever she wanted.

In school, she said things were always on the chalk board. They didn't have computers, so they had to write out all their papers in pen or pencil. This probably would be the biggest difference for me because now computers mean everything in school. Now we have projectors and all this fancy stuff its much easier to learn and work more efficiently. They had to do all math on paper and said usually only the teacher would have a calculator or an adding machine.  Also students were much more obedient because in her early school years teachers could paddle students. That would make kids pay attention more and is really weird to think about because now a days a teacher would be fired in an instant for such actions.

My mother's violent and unsupportive up bringing

I had the pleasure of interviewing my mother.  She was born in 1965 in SE Rochester.  She was the youngest of ten children.  There was a lot of physical and verbal abuse in my mother’s family all of which she was subject to.  They were very poor, my mom started babysitting when she was 11 so she could get clothes and pay for school supplies and food.  She grew-up fast being that her mother and father were absent parents, she relied mainly on her older brothers to give her rides here and there.  She was the only family member to graduate high school including both of her parents.  Her life became even more hard when she got pregnant with me and and me a week after she turned 17.  She fought for her high school diploma and continued on with a few college courses, but never obtained a degree. Life was tough for her, but she can out on top and did the best she could, considering her circumstances.

Violence was an everyday occurrence in my mother’s home growing up.  It was between her mother and father, the children where only verbally abused by both parents.  Her father was the only one who worked out of the house and her mother stayed home.  Every night around supper time her parents would start drinking and by the time bed time would roll around for the children her parents where belligerently drunk and would yell and scream and push each other around.  There were numerous calls to the home.  And even before my mother was born my mother’s parents had their second and third child taken by the state of Minnesota and both where adopted out of the family because of all the police interventions.  They went on to have six more children, all of which were able to stay in the home.  My mother personally was determined to continue on the same cycle of violence as her parents taught her.  She wanted something different for me; however, this was not the same for her brothers.  They all got into drugs and had numerous domestic assault charges.  Manuh and Bekoe talk about confronting violence.  They say most of the programs for anti-abuse are geared towards prevention in the year 2010.  In the 1970’s however, it was something was ignored.  And in the 1970’s, no one reported abuse of any kind  Now-a-days there is many steps that can be taken to act upon violence.  The problems still remains that no one is reporting domestic violence.  Manuh and Bekoe talk about getting the work out there about violence by gathering data about violence and putting the statistics out here for everyone to se to beware that they are not alone.  Then they state that there needs to be a great deal of resources for violence, making help accessible to victims.  Although it has gotten better, the act of abuse still remains hidden.  People are still scared to get it out in the open and report violence to protect them.   If this was done, more data would be produced and more resources could be made available to persons how experience the types of abuse that actually would get reported. 

Education in my mother’s family was never important, which is clear as my mother was the only one who graduated high school.  Still she had it in the back of her mind that it was important and worked on her studies without any help from her mother and father.  It was impossible to ask her parents anything at night because they were always drunk.  But she always felt like she should get an education.  When she entered colleges she was pushed into programs that where secretarial in nature.  It was almost like she did not have a choice, it was what women did.  She she took her few colleges course related to gaining a secretarial job.  According to her family education was not important.  She said that her mother was the one who over looked the fact of her being overly excited about school.  She believes that this stems from her mother’s upbringing.  Her mother was raised to become a mother and a wife and that is just what she did.  Friedan explains this type of experience in her “Feminine Mystique”.  In the 1950’s and around that ear, Friedan explains that education was to be important for women and that they should act a certain way to get a good husband and be a housewife.  The single best sentence from this essay is as follows, “The proportion of women attending college in comparison with men dropping from 47 per cent in 1920 to 35 per cent in 1958. A century earlier, women had fought for higher education, now girls went to college to get a husband.”  This is the idea that was portrayed to my mother. But she wanted a higher education that her siblings and her parents and she got no encouragement from her family.  It was like my mother was living in the footsteps of her mother in obeying what her parents had taught her…to be modest, get a good husband and disregard an education. 

 

It is sad that my mother did fall in to her mother’s beliefs, however, I am very proud of her for obtaining a high school degree and entering into college despite zero encouragement from her family.

Blog #2 interview with younger generation

Lisa is a young lady I work with in our Pediatric clinic.  She is half my age, filling a contract nurse position for six months. She is the first person in her immediate family to earn a college degree and considers this her greatest accomplishment. Her example has resulted in three female cousins attending college and also becoming nurses in the last six years. Nursing is primarily filled with women but this is changing. Today thirteen percent of nursing students in the United States are men.  Gender patterns are evolving and gender is defined as a process creating the social differences that define “men” and “women” are changing.    Lorber talked about “doing gender” without thinking about it.  Men travel with babies in strollers in the New York subways dressed neutrally making it hard to identify whether the child is male or female until you see flowered sneakers.  People smile at these men and probably secretly admire their part in their child’s upbringing.

 

Lisa states she does not feel limited as a young woman and thinks we limit ourselves. I thought this was very intuitive coming from someone so young. I think she is a confident, competent nurse and an asset to our clinic. There is such a thing in nursing called “eating your young” and I find myself protecting Lisa from my two older co-workers when they become overly critical.  I was pleased that Lisa handles herself very well with them but does voice frustration to me at times. Peggy McIntosh describes white privilege as being “an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, assurances, tools, maps, guides, codebooks, passports, visas, clothes, compass, emergency gear, and blank checks.”  I think Lisa has white privilege and acted on this to use educational opportunities even though she doesn’t really recognize it as such.   She does not consider herself a feminist, although she is benefitting from many aspects of feminism including education.

 Mary Wollstonecraft’s Vindication of the Rights of Women (1792) began nineteenth-century feminism.  Wollstonecraft’s debated ideas Jean-Jaque Rousseau had where he stated, “Educate women like men and the more they resemble our sex the less power will they have over us.”  Wollstonecraft’s objected saying that she didn’t wish women to have power over men, but over themselves.   I think Lisa does have power because she has paved a way to be self-sufficient and led others to do the same.   She regrets having financial debt from attending college and wishes she would have attended a Community College for two years which would have cost less and then transferred to a four year college to decrease her debt.  She is responsibly repaying her debt and I reminded her that if we ate an elephant, it would be one bite at a time.  Young people are so used to obtaining things quickly; they forget that the best things come with time.  Patience is a virtue. For instance, college degrees. She is happy with her choice to become a nurse because she likes to take care of people and enjoying her work is very important.  Nursing is a nurturing role which is considered a feminine characteristic.  Perhaps that is why it has taken so long for men to cross these gender lines.  

Lisa also wishes she could have left home earlier and hopes to travel to Greece and Europe in the future. She is benefiting from the Feminist movement.  In Betty Friedman’s,The Feminine Mistique, she explores the unsettled life women lead when they are not able to be complete.  Their dreams seemed limited to motherhood and childrearing. Lisa has more dreams and wishes which are attainable in her lifetime.  Friedman reported a woman had a nervous breakdown when she could not breast feed her baby.  It seems that balance in women’s lives was missing.  There was fear of losing femininity when women were independent and educated and achieving equality with men in America during this time.  I don’t think equality has come full circle yet in America and because of men and women’s differences I don’t think it will ever be equal across the board.  Gender schemas are a continuum today.

 Unlike Betty Friedman, Lisa still wants something more than nursing, she wants a husband, children and a home.  Since taking this course it tickled me how today young women have the opportunity to go to college and work before they get married and start a family.  Feminism is responsible for calling attention to many subjects pertaining to women and calling for change. Some traditional roles for women are not coveted by men just shared more than in past history.  It is great to see and live during this time. I enjoy working with Lisa and hope to keep in touch with her when her contract is over.  Today that is much easier with modern day conveniences like the intranet and texting.

 

References

Friedan, B. (1963). The Feminine Mystique. New York: W.W. Norton and Co.

Lorber, Judith. "The Social Construction of Gender" Trans. Array Women's Voices, Feminist Voices: Classic and Contemporary Readings. . 5th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill Companies, 2012. 126-128.

Mainardi, Pat. "The Politics of Housework." Trans. Array Women's Voices Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings. . 5th ed. New York : Mc-Graw-Hill, 2012. 414-417.

 McIntosh, P. (1988). White Privilege and Male Privilege. Women's Voices Feminist Visions(5th). (S. M. Shaw, & Lee, Janet, Eds.) New York, NY, USA: McGraw Hill.

Shaw, S. M., & Lee, J. (2012). Learning Gender. In S. M. Shaw, & J. Lee, Women's Voices, Feminist Visions (p. 109). New York: McGraw Hill.

Wollstonecraft, M. Excerpt from A Vindication of the Rights of Women Strictures on Political and Moral Subjects (London: Joseph Johnson, 17920. Reprinted in Carol H. Poston, ed. Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman: An Authoritative Text, Backgrounds, The Wollstonecraft Debate, Criticism (New York: W.W. Norton, 1988), pp.21-22, 25-28, 43, 57-58, 62, 147-48, 191-94.

Feminist of another generation

            I had the opportunity to visit with my grandma about the different gender experiences that she has had over the years. Growing up my grandma was one of seven children, four boys and three girls. From an early child there were gender roles established and the expectation to follow through with your work was a given, never an option. Times were tough and everyone helped out with different chores on the farm. The boys were responsible for the heavy lifting chores, helping with the field work and other outside jobs. The girls were given the inside housework and lighter outside chores such as picking the eggs and making sure the lamps were filled with oil to last the night. There were times when my grandma would have to do the boys chores for some reason. Everyone pitched in and there was no whining about doing chores.

            Lober talked about the idea of gender and its impact on society stating, "Gender, like culture, is a human production that depends on everyone "doing gender." We do gender without even thinking about it. Growing up my grandma never questioned why she was not outside playing in the dirt instead inside dusting the end tables. Gender is just a part of how we are raised that it never gets questioned. Society's perception of gender never gets questioned because it is the norm and expectations lead to an individual's sense of worth and value. The idea of dressing a child in sex specific colors is not a new trend, it is something that just continues to get passed down through the generations. Growing up, my grandma would dress in gender appropriate clothing and maintain a proper womanly appearance.

            These gender roles continued into my grandparents marriage. The cooking, cleaning, and housework was completed by my grandma while my grandpa worked outside. The idea of gender roles within the household was brought up in, "The Politics of Housework" by Mainardi. The idea that men are fully capable and smart enough to accomplish everyday household chores, they simply come up with different ways to not have to do them. Men use excuses resulting in the women simply doing the work themselves. Men will also do the chores subpar so that in the future they will not be asked to do that chore again. In my grandma's marriage she rarely asked my grandpa to do these tasks. However, in recent years and while growing up I remember my grandpa cooking supper for the grandchildren.  

            Early in my grandma's marriage she was a stay at home mother raising three children. She kept busy with the housework, maintaining a garden, and being active member of the church. Big life decisions were talked about and for the most part my grandpa had the final say. When the children had grown up, my grandma got a job. She took a job working for her brother in a local restaurant as a waitress. The job was to fulfill a personal need, not because of the need for a paycheck but the need to get off the family farm. My grandma enjoys the interaction with members of the community while my grandpa was content to spend the evenings at home on the farm. There was a sense of pride that came along with having a job. She was able to contribute to their financial success. She has always respected my grandpa for allowing her and respecting her enough to allow her to do things that made her happy and satisfied as a person.

            Within the restaurant that my grandma worked at, the gender roles were defined.  Jobs such as waitress and dishwasher were usually always done by women. Management, head chief, and maintenance were usually males. If there was any major issues it was usually left to the men to solve the problem while the women kept going with their other duties.  

            As with any marriage there were arguments. Openly talking and discussing their issues was the main way that they worked through their issues. While raising their children they tried not to argue in front of the children and never became violent with each other. My grandpa was raised in a family that did not really talk about feelings or openly show affection towards each other. Wexler mentioned "relational dread" being that men are unable to discuss feelings. Men need to be taught at a young age that it is okay to show emotion. While this trend is changing in past generations it was not acceptable or common for men to be open to their feelings.  My grandma enjoyed watching my grandpa as he transitioned throughout his lifetime. The arrival of grandkids caused him to show more emotion with all the hugs, kisses, and always telling the grandkids how much he loved them. This was something that early in his life as a parent would not of happened.

            A statement that my grandmas father had said when he was elderly was, I'm glad I'm as old as I am now because of the way the world is going. This same statement is something that today my grandma is better able to understand. There is so many changes in the world today with all the technology, constant bad news on television, and just the general state of the world. While she does admit that there are also very good things that occur. And doesn't necessarily want to return to the way the world was years ago either. The continued raise in the number of minorities and being able to be openly gay within the United States is a change compared to when my grandma was growing up. There have been many changes over the decades that my grandma has been able to see. She would tell you that some are good and some are not so good but there is not much that we can do to stop change.

 

References

Lorber, Judith. "The Social Construction of Gender" Trans. Array Women's Voices, Feminist Voices: Classic and Contemporary Readings. . 5th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill Companies, 2012. 126-128. Print.

Mainardi, Pat. "The Politics of Housework." Trans. Array Women's Voices Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings. . 5th ed. New York : Mc-Graw-Hill, 2012. 414-417. Print.

Wexler, David. "Shame-O-Phobia." Trans. Array Women's voices Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings. . 5th ed. New York : McGraw-hill , 2012. 141-144. Print.

Lisa's Perspective as a Feminist

I have known my friend Lisa, forty-eight years old, for many years. She is a white, college-educated, married woman with no children. It was interesting and insightful to hear her talk about herself as a feminist.

Talking to Lisa it was clear that her feminism was intrinsic to her. When I asked her how she defined feminism the first word she used was equality: equality for women at home, at work, and in society.  She said that she was raised believing these were rights all women should have.  In her home growing up with two brothers there were not separate expectations for her as a female; all three would work and all three would go to college. There was not a particular event that moved her towards feminism but was rather raised in a family that encouraged equality at home. It never occurred to her that there were not options open to her due to her gender. She did not consciously choose to be a feminist; it was more like it became embedded into her consciousness growing up.

The issues Lisa is most passionate about are reproductive rights and equal pay for women. She has worked at the same company since she was 16 and has experienced discrimination regarding pay.  At the time when she was hired men were paid more because they had families to support and women were not as likely to stay at the job. It is similar to when Hu-Dehart described women workers as being “temporary”, “secondary”, or not “career-minded.” (Hu-Dehart, p. 473) The difference now for someone in Lisa’s position is her employer now falls guidelines where all employees’ start pay is structured equally when hired.

 Lisa signifies her feminist beliefs in how she votes.  She made it clear though that she votes according issues and not according to gender.  She is also a member of the League of Women Voters.   

Analyzing the above I think the way she defines feminism is indicative of two things. First, it says a lot about her upbringing: when you do not have significant events or are reacting against a family setting that is oppressive due to your gender you may have a more “simple” definition of feminism, one that is not as articulated.

Secondly, I think that her approach to feminism suggests a life lived with the benefits that comes with white privilege, or what McIntosh talks about as “a base of unacknowledged privilege.” (McIntosh, p.76) McIntosh talks about how this privilege puts some people at a disadvantage while at the same time puts white people at an advantage “with a knapsack of special provisions.” (McIntosh, p.75) Being a white woman and married buffers her from some of the inequalities that other women face in the feminist movement.  McIntosh says people with white privilege get to choose the risks they want to take and at the same time do not have a lot at stake. (McIntosh, p. 80)  Lisa has the luxury to choose whether or not to get involved in causes that may be uncomfortable to her because ultimately at the end of the day she still gets to have the life she has now. On the other hand, women of color or of different sexual orientations cannot go home to their life and not be affected by the oppression they are facing whether in the work place or in society at large.

I think the above also puts her in the category of a liberal feminist.  She prefers to affect change through legal methods and political reform. Regarding the discrimination of pay she experienced she would not pursue a remedy for that nor would she make waves about it. She is in a position to afford to deal with the time it takes to make changes through legal channels.

At the end of the interview I asked Lisa if she is “out” to the world as a feminist and she said it has not been something she has ever “declared.”  She says she has “just lived my life that way” and that it is different for her than her mother’s generation.  She feels the major battles have been fought in terms of education and general equality for women.  In her marriage she says that her and her husband have mutually come to what their roles were not through major discussions about gender but how things have worked best for both of them.

Overall, I think bell hooks would not be that impressed with the feminism of Lisa.  hooks would lament the lack of a more articulated belief. The feminism of hooks is much more complicated.  She talks about the feminist movement as a way to transform women’s lives while “providing new paradigms for change” in how gender is thought of. (hooks, p.27)  hooks’ definition involves a lot of hard, messy, uncomfortable work.  Lisa’s definition is simple: equality without considering very deeply where inequality comes from in the first place, which to hooks comes as a result of a patriarchal society. And to hooks this patriarchal society is “perpetuated and maintained by everyone in our culture.” (hooks, p. 29)  Lisa’s personality is very laid back and she is good at letting things not get to her.  Maybe having these kinds of skills also contributes to her easy going attitude about feminism. 

I was surprised by the reactions when I talked to people about the paper I was working on when I mentioned I was to interview a feminist.  People had a negative response to the word feminist and I think it is because the word has been “demonized” by the other side.  I think the interview with Lisa shows that not only men need an education about feminism but women do as well.  

Works Cited

hooks, b. (1992). Men in the Feminist Struggle: The Necessary Movement. Reading Women's Lives. (J. Schoen, Ed.) (pp. 27-33).

Hu-Dehart. (2007). Surviving Globalization-Immigrant Women Workers in Late Capitalist America. In Women's Work Inside and Outside the Home (pp. 470-480).

McIntosh, P. (1988). White Privilege and Male Privilege. Women's Voices Feminist Visions(5th). (S. M. Shaw, & Lee, Janet, Eds.) New York, NY, USA: McGraw Hill.

An Interview with a Feminist

My first thought was to interview an older woman to get her views on feminism.  Then it came to me that I know someone who might possibly consider herself a feminist.  When asked the question, she answered with a confident “yes.” Kathleen is a dedicated and hard working single parent.  She is a recovered alcoholic and mother of a nineteen (19) year old daughter.  She would also go as far as to say that she is a bi-sexual and very comfortable in her own skin.  Her definition of feminism is sound.  She believes that people of all genders should have equal rights and responsibilities.  She thinks we should all have the opportunity to be our best selves and not to be held back by laws or society’s expectations.  This answer was not at all surprising to me; in fact, I would have been surprised if she had said anything different. 

 

I would categorize Kathleen as a Liberal Feminist.  I say this because when I asked her if there had been any particular events in her life that led her to feminism, she said that she had read some books in college.  The main one that influenced her was “The Feminine Mystique.”  In fact, she still has the book that was given to her by a roommate when she was in school in California. At this same time, she purchased a subscription to Ms. Magazine and was fortunate to hear Gloria Steinem speak at her school. Kathleen has been an avowed feminist for the past 30-35 years. Liberal feminism is centered around gender equality with a focus on the ability to have equal access to education, equal pay, and better working conditions. This philosophy fits Kathleen like a glove.  She consistently looks out for her peers and works tirelessly in Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) to ensure that individuals in recovery know that her door is always open. 

In “The Feminine Mystique”, Betty Freidan opened the minds and eyes of woman all across the nation.  She made them think of the missing pieces to their lives. “The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own” (Friedan, 1963). Kathleen began looking for more information on the topic of feminism and attending book signings and readings whenever possible. 

 

Does she enjoy being a feminist?  “I enjoy it when I recognize I am part of a bigger group – when I meet others who have great ideas that I identify with – I don’t enjoy it so much when people misunderstand what it means or say that we should be past that by now.  I don’t enjoy criticism in general, so maybe it’s just that feeling of being put down that I dislike.”  This answer can be paired with her next comments on how being perceived as a feminist has been problematic.  “My Dad always complained about “those women’s libbers” when I was a teenager, and told me to stay away from them.  Other than him, I don’t think it has caused any problems for me.” She is unabashedly pro-choice and is in support of the freedom to marry.  She believes that same sex marriage is ultimately a feminist issue and affects many women and their families.

 

Is feminism or being a feminist fun?  Kathleen answered that,” it was not a matter of being fun or not fun, but more supportive than not supportive.”  Kathleen speaks of going to a feminist church as worshipping in a place where she feels supported.  Women facilitate many of the main functions of the church, which is discussed in the reading “Feminist Questions of Christianity.”  Caryn Riswold writes, “Feminists have been changing the sexist and misogynist tendencies of Christianity for generations.  Examples from the first wave, the second wave, and the third wave of feminism demonstrate clearly how Christianity is in places becoming a pro-feminist and pro-woman religion.  Continuing these efforts now is essential for the well-being of women and men around the world” (Riswold, 2012). The church that Kathleen attends makes some changes in the verbiage during the sermons. Riswold writes, “In the modern world, significant attempts to critically engage the Christian tradition gained public attention with the writings of abolitionist women and suffragists, like Sarah Grimke, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Matilda Joslyn Gage.  Grimke wrote Letters on the Equality of the Sexes in 1838, and in these letters se criticized sexist interpretations of a variety of biblical texts in order to make her case for the equality of men and women” (Riswold, 2012). 

 

Being a single working parent does not leave Kathleen with a lot of free time.  In the past, her free time was spent reading feminist books. I did briefly touch on the topic of how she gained her feminist voice and Kathleen talked of being married at one time in her life.  Even at that time, education was very important to her and her future husband, so they did not marry until she had completed her first degree. She attended a community college in California, and then finished her degree at St. Kate’s University in Minneapolis.  Attending an all-women’s school was both empowering and enlightening for her.  She saw how strong a group of women can be when they are not competing with males or against other females for male attention.  Although her marriage did not work out, she has a wonderful daughter as the result of their union.  Being a single parent has also brought her out of her shell to become more outspoken not only for herself but also for others she sees as oppressed.  Kathleen truly stepped out of her comfort zone in a trip she made to Ethiopia as the winner of Levi Strauss’s Watertank Challenge. I have included the website for those interested in seeing pictures and reading about the experience of bringing fresh drinking water to a remote Ethiopian village. “Ultimately, the WaterTank challenge resulted in a winner – Kathleen McDonald from Minneapolis. That's her in the middle of the picture, with her daughter, Maddy on the right and me on the left.See picture below” (Sornberger, 2011).  

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a feminist, Kathleen feels very grateful for being a woman and for having the strength to fight the fight for all of us.  Ultimately, we would not be living the lives we do today if not for those women who were unafraid to go to battle for us.  And, for that, I will be eternally grateful.

 

Friedan, B. (1963). The Feminine Mystique. New York: W.W. Norton and Co.

Riswold, C. D. (2012). Feminist Questions of Christianity. In S. M. Shaw, & J. Lee, Women's Voices, Feminist Visions (p. 634). New York: McGraw-Hill.

Sornberger, L. (2011, December 22). From Minneapolis to Ethiopia. Retrieved from LS&Co. Unzipped: http://www.levistrauss.com/blogs/minneapolis-ethiopia

Interview of the Feminist Generation

Beth was born in the rise of the post war era.   Their family style resembled that of Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique, 1963.  In her writing she talks about how women’s main goal was to please their husbands in anyway.  This entailed them to clean, cook and bear multiple children. Many of these house wives have no college education and are bound to this life.  Freidan states “these are not career women; these are women who’s ambition is marriage and children” (1963).   Beth's mother was a stay at home mom, while her father was the “bread winner”; and in their home dads’ priority was “dad’s priorities”.

The work force in the sixties was completely blue collar.  Her father worked in manufacturing for the US steel.  This is how her father provided for the family; this for them was middle class.  Although the work force didn’t welcome women in, Beth was eager to work. She admired independence; so she joined the work field at a young age.  Beth began engaging in “Reproductive work” as a way to earn wages.  She started off baby sitting and cleaning houses; which reflects a gender division of the work women can do.  However did not continue upon this gendered role. She wanted to express her creative side and show there was more to her, she then landed a job at Burger King, where she was “Shift supervisor”. 

There were many issues women had to face in the work field.  As she continued climbing the ladder of the work field, these things became more apparent.   On a personal level she experienced what would be called a “hostile work environment”.  “Cat calling”, among the work place was common, but she ignored it.  Other issues that stood out were things like women not receiving promotions or women not receiving equal pay although they may have worked just as hard as men.  This is known as the glass ceiling; which can have many stereotypical ideas tied to it (Brown 2013).  Occupational segregation was also evident. For example, for women it was all work and no slack in order to keep their spot in the work place.  Along with that most of the fields were male dominated; leaving very few professional jobs for women.  However Beth persevered and let her creative side show in her work to gain respect. 

She soon went off to college to study Marketing and Journalism.  Her mother was very supportive of her decision and considered it as a good thing. On the other hand her father was critical and felt that she was not fulfilling her gender role.  This is a typical way in which society sees as ‘“mothering” or “fathering”.   Mothers are expected to be encouraging and nurturing which is seen as natural for women (Brown, 2013). Fathering is the idea that fathers are more strict and seen as disciplinarians in this case Beth’s father was (Brown, 2013).

However, the strictness only pushed her to keep going. Throughout college she was involved in numerous interns; which were all paid.  She feels that education is very important, she expresses this by saying “In order to grow we are always learning, and this is what makes life interesting.  Her attitude about education reminded me of Adrianne Rich’s article claiming an education.  Rich says that education is your responsibility as a women, and if you don’t feel as if you earned it claim it (Rich, 1979).  “Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do the thinking, talking and naming for you: it means learning to respect and use your own brain and instincts…” (Rich, 1979).  This is exactly what Beth did; she didn’t let her father’s view of gender stop her from claiming her education. 

Although the men in the sixties, as well as, her father didn’t approve of women furthering their education and working outside of traditional household norms, one man did; her husband of twenty-six year.   Beth and her husband were together for three years before they married; they were high school sweet hearts.  I admired how highly she spoke of him and the relationship they shared.  Beth and her husband had an “equal marriage”; which is very rare.  They’d wake up in the morning spend one hour together, and the next few hours were spent doing house chores which they split equally.  This is similar to Jarvis “Who Wants to Marry a Feminist”?  In the writing she explains how marriage for her is emotional, filled with love and companionship (Miya-Jarvis, 2000).  Miya Jarvis also explains how she and her husband have and equal marriage in which her husband’s cooks from time to time and even share house chores.  An equal marriage is the total opposite from the head/complement marriage Beth’s parents had in the fifties.  Beth’s father also had a hard time accepting the equal marriage approach and felt that her husband should be the head and it was his duty to make it clear of the roles women and men shared in marriages. 

Despite this, growing up Beth always saw herself as a leader. She was encouraged by her two grandfathers, who told her she could be anything she wanted to be.  Gloria Steinem was also an influencing role-model who she admired.  She admired her because Steinem was a woman who fought for women:

"I feel I owe her for playing a significant role in allowing me the choices I have had as a female in my life for  example attending college, being a career mom, striving to compete and earn a competitive salary, being in a marriage relationship of "equals" (Beth, 2010).

Other feminist figures that influenced her included Olivia Snow, who was a political figure who supported feminism. She also mentioned Emily Dickenson who expressed feminism through poetry.  Because of these role-models she always had the mid set of “expecting she would be equal”.   

 

Beth, G. (2013, June 13). Interview by Lavasha Smith . Interview of women’s studies; Insight of the feminist generation.

            Brown, A (2013). Domestic labor, slide 4

            Brown, A (2013). Paid Labor, slides 4, 6, 7

            Freidan, B (1963). The Feminist Mystique. . In S. Shaw & J. Lee (Eds.), Women’s voice; feminist visions (5th ed., p. 23). New, NY: McGraw Hill.

            Miya- Jarvis, (2000). "Who Wants to Marry a Feminist"? In S. Shaw & J. Lee (Eds.), Women’s voice; feminist visions (5th ed., p. 23). New, NY: McGraw Hill.

            Rich, A. (1979). Claiming an Education. In S. Shaw & J. Lee (Eds.), Women’s voice; feminist visions (5th ed., p. 23). New, NY: McGraw Hill.

 

An interview with a female of a different generation

Marian is an 80-year-old family friend whom I admire for her infinitely positive attitude.  Marian was one of eight children growing up on a farm in a small town in Minnesota.  Marian stated that on the farm everyone had to pitch in to help with chores, boys and girls alike, with no segregation of jobs.  Marian and her husband had six daughters together and raised them on the farm where Marian currently has lived alone since the death of her husband one year ago.  The chores on the farm were performed by everyone in the family, with all of their daughters knowing how to drive tractors and do fieldwork as well as any boy around.  Marian feels that these skills and good work ethics have benefitted her daughters throughout their adult lives, and I would tend to agree with that theory. 

Marian said that her brothers were able to play sports, but the girls were only allowed to cheer.  At the time it was all she knew, so did not think anything of it, but looking back now, she indicated that it would have been a form of discrimination.  Allowing only boys to play sports would not be tolerated in this day and age, and only allowing girls to cheer for the boys athletic teams is discriminating in and of itself.  We all know that boys are no more athletic than girls, therefore have no more capability to out-perform a girl on the field or the court.  Nowadays, girls are even getting involved in playing football, where special accommodations are made for locker room privileges. 

This small portion of history reminds me of Benedict’s writings in The Plight of Women Soldiers, where she states that Army Specialist Mickiela Montoya was very angry about the treatment she received in Iraq from her comrades, the Army, and the Department of Veterans Affairs (Benedict, 2009, p. 582).  Today it seems as if they allow women to be in the Army, but abuse and disrespect them while they are serving their country.  This seems similar to the past when only boys were allowed to play sports and girls were only allowed to be cheerleaders.  They allowed the girls to jump around and cheer for the “real” athletes on the field or court, making it seem as if they are involving the girls and allowing them this special privilege of being on or near the court as a special addition to the team.  Personally, I think being a disrespected woman in the army and being a cheerleader are rather derogatory and meager offerings of involvement in something that seems to be primarily directed toward male participation. 

Organized sports were not available to Marian’s daughters until her oldest daughter was a senior in high school.  Upon the availability of sports to females, Marian’s daughters got involved in danceline, and did very well with that activity.  Throughout Marian’s entire adult life, she and her husband enjoyed attending basketball and football games, and even though their daughters were never involved in either of those sports, they rarely missed a game until her husband passed away one year ago. 

The family choices that Marian and her husband chose were to have Marian be a stay-at-home mom while her husband worked on the farm to make a successful living.  Marian has never worked outside the home, but stated that some women did, though not very many.   Marian stated that they had to skimp and save to make ends meet, but it was all worthwhile for her to be at home raising the girls and being available to help her husband outside.  Marian is always offering and willing to help my husband and I with our two daughters when we work late or cannot get them to activities because we are so busy with work and school.  She is always remarking that she is amazed that I can keep up with work, school and family, as her life was always centered around home, and I am always on the go to children’s activities, work, and class. 

Marian’s family has always been very Christian-based with a strong foundation and belief in the Lutheran religion.  I asked Marian if she has ever felt repressed by the Missouri Synod Lutheran religion which she has always been a member and had a strong belief.  She stated that she has never felt that way, but has never known any different.  Although the Missouri Synod has not evolved much over the years, Marian has never felt repressed by her religion or been bothered with the lack of female officials within the church.  Women do not hold office in the Missouri Synod, but are very well-respected, just as Syafa Almirzanah states that in the Muslim religion, the Qur’an is very positive about women because men and women are created from the same cells and are the same before God (Almirzanah, 2009, p. 621).  I also belong to the same religion and feel as Marian does, I enjoy the church, know that women are well-respected and appreciated for what we do within the church, and have never felt repressed.  I also feel that if the male members of our church, and especially our pastor, ever thought that women felt repressed in our church, they would do everything within their power to change those feelings.

 

 

 

 

 

References

 

Almirzanah, S. (2009). The Prophet’s Daughters. In S. M. Shaw, & J. Lee, Women’s Voices/Feminist Visions:  Classic and Contemporary Readings (5th ed., pp. 621-624). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Benedict, H. (2009). The Plight of Women Soldiers. In S. M. Shaw, & J. Lee, Women’s Voices/Feminist Visions:  Classic and Contemporary Readings (5th ed., pp. 582-585). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Blog #2 - Seen One Crotch, You've Seen Them All

     Through the progression of this Women's Studies course, I have had the opportunity to get to know Nadine, a 93 year-old woman who has lived quite a spectacular life.  After learning the dress making trade in her last two years of high school, Nadine went to work in a factory as a full time seamstress sewing countless numbers of crotches in women's underwear.  Men owned and managed these garment factories while women sat endless hours operating the rows of cumbersome, labor intensive, and unsafe sewing and cutting machines.

     During this time, export-based industrialization had not been adopted yet by the United States; therefore, U.S. brand name manufacturers supplied the majority of inner city residents with highly sought after industrial jobs (Hu-Dehart, 2007) after the great depression.  An hourly minimum wage was not required, so weekly salaries were dependent on the number of timed piecework produced; however, if a worker were to produce too many pieces within the allotted time, her pay was reduced.  This factory did not provide its employees with:  any benefits, a union, workman's compensation, or air conditioning, and typically recruited women who were young, unmarried, white, low skilled, and most importantly low-cost labor.  These jobs were considered temporary, and women did not have the option of building a career, because they were expected to leave their positions when they married and/or became pregnant.  In today's standards, I would describe this work environment to be highly discriminatory and oppressive; however, back then the women did not complain, because every day they were reminded that they were replaceable.

     According to Surviving Globalization by Hu-Dehart, these types of working conditions in 1938 still continue today, and could easily be compared to a modern day garment sweatshop or electronics assembly plant.  Export processing zones (EPZ) and some state-side factories similarly rely heavily on female labor to do "women's work", and continue to take advantage of women by failing to meet minimum wage, labor, and safety standards.  It is interesting, that when paralleling these women who have worked in very diverse eras, they are still alike in the fact that they both must overcome basic survival problems by working for factories that possess the same ideology:  Exploitation of female labor in order to benefit the already wealthy.  The only difference is that Third World immigrant women are now being exploited and suffering in extremely poor working conditions in order to make the lives of American women more comfortable.

     At age 20, Nadine left her seamstress position and married a man who freshly enlisted into the Navy.  During WWII, Nadine returned to work in an armory producing bullets, a factory that was once again managed by men and operated by women; however, when her husband returned home, Nadine was dismissed from her position and the post-war climate set the stage for the rest of her life.  Her life was very similar to other women's lives that were described in the Excerpt from The Feminine Mystique by Friedan.  Nadine happily settled into a traditional marriage, where the husband is more dominant than the wife, and both partners maintained strict traditional gender roles.  She sought fulfillment and devoted her entire life to being a domesticated suburban housewife and mother of four who was allowed to make decisions about housework, childcare, and meal planning, while her husband had control of the finances and the ultimate authority in family decisions.  She was never interested in:  earning a higher education, a career, or politics, but enjoyed baking, cooking, sewing, and playing cards with her "neighbor ladies" once a week.

     During this second wave of feminism, Nadine denies feeling dissatisfaction with her life.  She claims she has never experienced "the problem that has no name", as Friedan suggests.  She has never felt that she has given up any dreams, and has never felt imprisoned by her marriage, home, or family.  In fact, her greatest accomplishment in life was raising her four children and her greatest regret is not spending enough time with them.  She agrees that creating equality for women in the home and workplace is essential; however, she has never identified herself as being a feminist.  She holds on to white privilege and traditional family and Christian values; therefore, she does not truly believe in racial equality, divorce, same-sex marriage, abortion , or birth control methods for unmarried women.  Her opinions on life are polar-opposite to mine, but her perspective is understandable considering that she has lived through the trials and tribulations of almost a century.

                                                                       References

Hu-Dehart, E. (2007).  Surviving Globalization, Immigrant Women Workers in Late Capitalist
     America.  Women's Work Inside and Outside the Home (pp. 470-480).

Friedan, B. (1994).  Excerpts from The Feminine Mystique. in P.B. Levy, 100 Key Documents
     in American Democracy (pp. 431-436).  Westport, CT:  Greenwood.